The emotional freedom we find in honoring the agency of others is deeply tied to the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Relying on Him provides the very strength we need to maintain these difficult, and for many of us, new boundaries.
When we look at 2 Nephi 2:26, we read that we are created to “act for ourselves and not to be acted upon.” This is often shared as a simple Sunday School answer, but the context is incredibly heavy. Lehi was teaching this principle to sons who had experienced years of chaos and trauma at the hands of their older brothers. He was proving to them that they could choose not to be acted upon, even in the middle of extreme family dysfunction.
This doctrinal truth connects perfectly to Elder David A. Bednar’s teachings on agency. He explained that choosing to be offended by the behavior of others is actually a surrender of our personal agency (‘And Nothing Shall Offend Them’ October 2026). When we apply the Let Them Theory, we retain our emotional authority. We stop surrendering our peace to the unpredictable choices of those around us.
As the book emphasizes, “You cannot control how they feel, but you can always control how you show up.” Stepping down from the exhausting task of managing the emotions of everyone else is the exact moment you can step up to claim full responsibility for your own mindset. When you let them own their feelings, you take ownership of yours, including your own joy.